Greggs is truly on top for the 2018 festive season – not only has the company stepped up its marketing and brought out the festive bakes earlier, How Family Therapy Makes Us Older and Wiser And also more or less the same Pop Chart For the Record Donald Trumps Confidence Game Has Been Years In the Making He has the con mans ability to embed nuggets of truth in a welter of lies Review: The Boss Demotes Melissa McCarthy Crude gags mingle with squishy underdeveloped messages in the new comedy Get Schooled on Veggie Prep Kerry Washington Makes Anita Hill Human in HBOs Confirmation Zaha Hadid Trailblazing architect Saudi Arabias Attempt to Break Its Addiction to Oil War and Rape The most shameful consequence of conflict comes out into the open Milestones Anita Hill on Confirmation What Joe Biden Did Wrong and the Clintons The professor who is played by Kerry Washington in a new HBO film talks about Clarence Thomas and the progression of women’s rights Contact us at editors@timecomSurviving cancer is a milestone every patient wants to reach but waiting to hear if the cancer has recurred is its own nightmare In 2010 I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and even though my chemotherapy was a success my anxiety made me a mess I was approaching the two-year mark of being cancer-free (most recurrences happen within two years) and my anxiety was increasing Waiting to hit that two year anniversary was even more stressful than the chemotherapy had been I would lie awake at night overcome with dread When I feel anxious I overeat and this time was no different I was eating compulsively and gaining weight Thats when one of my doctors told me about a study at NYU: people with cancer-related anxiety and depression could receive a single dose of psilocybin the mind-altering drug that comes from psychedelic mushrooms Though I had experienced a bad trip in college with a synthetic version of mescaline I was assured that the clinical trial was closely monitored and safe This was about four years ago and I jumped at the chance On the morning of the trial I took the capsule of psilocybin and sat down on the sofa at NYU It was a peaceful room and I picked up an art book to browse through There was a fifty-fifty chance that the dose I’d been given was a placebo but it soon became clear that I’d taken the real thing When I felt the drug start to kick in I put a sleep mask over my eyes headphones on my ears and lay down At first it was terrifying as though I were tumbling through space or on a ship in a stormy sea But then I remembered that the researchers were right there next to me I stuck my hand out from under the blanket and said "Im so scared" One of the doctors took my hand and said "Just go with it" I let myself go and suddenly I saw my fear It was a black mass inside my body I felt a volcanic anger toward my fear and I screamed "Get the f-ck out I wont be eaten alive"As soon as I screamed at it the black mass of fear disappeared I began to feel like I was floating in the instrumental music playing from the headphones I had on and I started to feel love I felt like I was being bathed in love and it was overwhelming amazing wonderful I kept floating and floating Several hours later I became aware of people talking softly and the crinkling of paper One of the researchers was unwrapping a piece of chocolate for me I knew immediately that I had changed The feeling of immense love lingered for weeks and four years later I still feel it at times My fear and anxiety were completely removed and they haven’t come back Im an ice skating instructor and the day after getting the drug I had one of my best lessons ever A student who usually clings to my side let go of my hand and skated on her own as if my new confidence and peace of mind were communicated to her The experience changed how I wanted to live my life I used to get up grab a quick snack and eat it in the car But I no longer want to be in a hurry Now I get up an hour early make a real breakfast and read my paper I have made new friends and reestablished old contacts I used to imagine what it would be like if the cancer recurred but I dont think about it the same way any more When I don’t feel well and thoughts of a recurrence creep into my mind I lack fear and simply think "Lets just see what happens" Dinah Bazer is a former IT professional who has been teaching ice skating since 2002 She lives in Brooklyn NY with her husband and has two adult daughters Contact us at editors@timecom which enjoins separation of powers and independence of the legislature. and if they have a hot dog or a bun.

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